Absent pathology, we all wake up in the morning with the best of intentions to do good things. Sure, we all entertain and even act on the occasional devious thought — a prank on a colleague or spouse, or a few choice words lobbed at the TV news — but for the most part, we are decent people. 

And we are often, as well, correct in our own minds. We know what we would like done and how to go about doing it — with the resultant corollary: if you’re doing it differently, you must be wrong. 

I believe that self-righteousness is at the heart of our differences and keeps us from getting along better. The divide in “right/wrong” thinking keeps us from connecting with others at deeper levels, and it builds and reinforces the divide in our homes and workplaces, at the polls, and between houses of worship, alike.

There isn’t a leader or team immune to being self-righteous, and equally true, we are all prone to the binary thinking that divides us.

Let’s back up for a moment. Let’s look at self-righteousness from a fundamental definition:

self-right·eous

adjective
having or characterized by a certainty, especially an unfounded one, that one is totally correct or morally superior.

“self-righteous indignation and complacency”

synonyms: sanctimonious, holier-than-thou, self-satisfied, smug, priggish, complacent, too good to be true, pious, pietistic, moralizing, unctuous, superior, mealy-mouthed, hypocritical;

I find it interesting that there’s an inherently negative connotation with the term and definition. I wonder if this is because in comparison to righteousness, self-righteousness seems more subjective and thus more likely to be disagreed with or judged negatively. It could also be simply a function of the “unfounded certainty” element of the definition — those who believe they’re right with no grounded evidence to support that belief. That conviction leaves little room for other points of view.

I suggest that to be an effective leader, we need to be aware of the distinction between self-righteous and confident; we must hold a sense of self-worth that is high-bar, and know we are worthy without it being problematic. I want to challenge leaders who stray toward self-righteousness to recognize, instead, when they have true confidence behind knowing how to reach strategic goals and create relationships. That confidence will allow them to also invite and consider other viewpoints and belief systems — it will allow them to bring out the best in others, which of course is the goal of a true leader.

That confidence, I believe, also has two other major benefits. First, it allows for compassion — compassion that can reduce the binary thinking tendencies that tend to divide us on multiple levels. When we are confident in our knowledge — or confident that we need more knowledge — we are able to be more compassionate toward others in their circumstances and the viewpoints that arise in part from those circumstances. 

Second, and flowing freely from the aforementioned compassion, that confidence makes it easier to rein in our inherent tendencies to judge — yet another tendency that contributes to division. While judgment is often necessary at some point for decision making, it can also serve to put a stop to our processing. Judgment is an ending, and it is often relied on too — effectively ending processes prematurely when there is still more discovery and experimentation available to us.

As leaders, we can be too quick to denigrate other points of view. Johnathan Hait makes this point in his book, “The Righteous Mind,” when he discusses moral-foundation theory and its application in politics and suggests Americans and other Western leaders tend to quickly close themselves off to other points of view. This is the essential point of awareness where we turn righteousness and confidence (knowing we have valid and correct perspectives) into the negative form of self-righteousness (smug, pious and holier-than-thou). Awareness of that point — and the knowledge and confidence that come from that awareness — enable us as leaders to allow for others to contribute and achieve on their own paths to being leaders.

Remaining open in the face of new ideas, other points of view, and even adversity while holding onto what we know is right is the oft-taught and ever-difficult key to being an effective leader. But as long as we continue to wake up each morning with the intention to do good things, we can continue to practice that key and lead others to a mindset of confident, compassionate, and judgment-free leadership.       

Bill Berthel is a partner with Emergent, L.L.C., a provider of executive coaching and leadership training, based in Syracuse. Contact him at Bill@GetEmergent.com

Some recent tweets that came across the @cnybj Twitter feed, offering various small business, technology, HR, and career tips.

SBA @SBAgov
3 Simple Things to Protect Against Cyberattacks: https://content.govdelivery.com/accounts/USSBA/bulletins/25d6128

Angel Biz Advisors @AngelBiz
3 Cost Savings Every Small Business Should Look For – http://ow.ly/m0Up30puINr #finance #cost #smallbiz

Pocket of Money, LLC @PocketofMoney
How to Determine What Should Be Free Content https://buff.ly/2L3P8ij #Entrepreneur #smallbiz #SmallBusiness

Jumbiz @JumbizNews
How to Help Your Licensee Sell More Product http://dlvr.it/RCbpk5 #Entrepreneur #SmallBiz

NFIB @NFIB
Thanks to deregulation within the #EndangeredSpeciesAct, ranchers, farmers, homebuilders, and #SmallBiz owners are now less likely to lose the use of their property: https://www.nfib.com/content/news/environmental-regulations/changes-to-endangered-species-rule-a-win-for-small-business/

City of Syracuse @Syracuse1848
SOARING SUCCESS AT SYR World class terminal. More flights to more places. Recording breaking passengers. Mayor Walsh was on hand at the @SyracuseAirport Annual Meeting this week. Much progress to celebrate! New annual report here https://bit.ly/2k8rmIv

Simon Gibbard @simon_t_gibbard
Can you tell a scam URL from a legitimate one? Scammers are using Vietnamese characters to create look-a-like #scam website addresses to trick us into clicking. Always give the URL a good going over before clicking 

@VFConsulting @vfconsulting
This list goes to 11. #AI stats you need to know from leading research. By Preston Galla, tech author. https://oal.lu/oRYiK #data

Business Club @Business__Club
4 Steps to Monetize Your Social Media Following http://dlvr.it/RCP5Nt #SmallBiz #Marketing #BusinessGrowth #SmallBusiness #Entrepreneur

Inc. @Inc
4 ways to build a strong remote workforce @johnhall: https://www.inc.com/john-hall/4-ways-to-build-a-strong-remote-workforce.html?cid=sf01001

Evan Kirstel @evankirstel
How to prepare for a career in machine learning and artificial intelligence: https://www.techrepublic.com/article/how-to-prepare-for-a-career-in-machine-learning-and-artificial-intelligence/ 

Mark C. Crowley @MarkCCrowley
Malcolm Gladwell says leaders must demonstrate that they are #truthtellers & the starting point is to accept that it’s OK to be wrong. “Just say, ‘I blew it. Let’s try to figure out a better way.’ There’s such a longing for grace & clarity in our leaders.”

Mitch Mitchell @Mitch_M
4 Ways To Know If You Need To Be A Better Leader https://ttmitchellconsulting.com/Mitchblog/4-ways-to-know-if-you-need-to-be-a-better-leader/ #leadership

Hannah Morgan @careersherpa
If you think the #executive hiring process has been dehumanized by #ATS systems, you need to read this by @LisaRangel: http://chamres.com/433T