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The Simple Way to Become More Professionally Interesting to People
Have you ever witnessed the “slow link,” when someone is so bored he starts blinking really slowly, his head becomes the heaviest object in the world, and he almost falls asleep while talking to the other person? Don’t let the person causing the slow blink to be you. If you want to become more interesting […]
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Have you ever witnessed the “slow link,” when someone is so bored he starts blinking really slowly, his head becomes the heaviest object in the world, and he almost falls asleep while talking to the other person? Don’t let the person causing the slow blink to be you.
If you want to become more interesting to people — in business meetings, sales calls, or networking events — there is a simple strategy you can implement. As you look to build your likability, it’s important to become interesting and someone that people want to be around.
The biggest mistake people make is thinking that to become interesting they have to say something interesting. It may sound counter intuitive, but the most interesting people rarely say interesting things. The key to becoming interesting to people is to become interested in them. The less you talk about yourself and the more you put the spotlight on the other person, the more he/she will actually find you interesting and like you in return. The majority of people you do this with will relish the opportunity to talk about themselves, to have someone put the spotlight on them and genuinely listen. When the majority of people are listening, they are not actually listening — they are simply waiting for their turn to talk. They don’t care what the other person is saying and aren’t really interested. Becoming interested in people makes you interesting.
Use the attention-spotlight technique
Now imagine that you are a stage director of a big play and you control the spotlight. You are going to put the spotlight solely on the person with which you are talking. Everything else around the person is black. You are behind the light so you can’t be seen. The spotlight of your attention is solely on this person, not on your phone, not looking around, not checking your watch, but solely on the person.
I want you to be connected to him/her and ask questions, such as: “What is new and exciting in your life?” “What projects are you currently most excited about?” and “What keeps you up at night?” Pay attention to the person’s responses and delve deeper with genuine curiosity.
A friend of mine who is an executive coach told me of an executive client he had who felt he had changed her life. In this life-changing session, the only words he uttered were: “Tell me how you are doing” and then never said another word. He genuinely listened and simply gave this powerful client of his the space to speak. Being allowed to talk, without interruption, led to this game-changing session for his client. He did not interrupt her; he just listened and kept his attention spotlight on her.
By asking open-ended questions, and giving the other person the spotlight, you let the individual you are speaking with direct the conversation. You are not a mind reader; you don’t know what pains or joys this person has and which areas of her life are affected. By asking open-ended questions, you let the person interpret based on what’s most important to her.
An important note about this technique is to avoid inundating people with questions. It’s a conversation, not an interrogation. Make sure to show you are listening by rephrasing the answer in your own words before asking your next question. Utilize active listening techniques like head nodding, saying, “I see,” or “Interesting, tell me more.”
To become more interesting to people, become genuinely more interested in them. Ask questions and listen intently. Keep the attention spotlight on them for the majority of the time. When you increase your likability, you boost the chances of having deep relationships with people. If you increase deep relationships with people, then you raise your chances of success in all areas of your life.
Arel Moodie is the founder of the Art of Likability, which provides research on leveraging likability for business success. He hosts a weekly podcast on his likability research on iTunes that is listened to in over 140 countries. Contact him at www.artoflikability.com, info@artoflikability.com, or (800) 617-9648.
Fust Charles Chambers LLP has hired AMY DOBROVECH as senior healthcare consultant. She brings more than 15 years of broad-based experience in finance and managerial accounting. Dobrovech comes to Fust Charles from Excellus BlueCross BlueShield, where she worked for more than 14 years in staff accountant, accounting team leader, and financial analyst positions, according to
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Fust Charles Chambers LLP has hired AMY DOBROVECH as senior healthcare consultant. She brings more than 15 years of broad-based experience in finance and managerial accounting. Dobrovech comes to Fust Charles from Excellus BlueCross BlueShield, where she worked for more than 14 years in staff accountant, accounting team leader, and financial analyst positions, according to her LinkedIn page. Before that, she started her career as an accountant at Firley, Moran, Freer & Eassa, CPA, P.C. in Syracuse. Dobrovech holds bachelor’s and master’s degrees in accounting from North Carolina State University and is a CPA.
Carpenter & Damsky Advertising in Utica has named CARRIE LoGALBO-KLEPADLO as its director of creative services. As founder and president of CALdesign, she has provided graphic design and coordinated special projects and events for a variety of clients, including the 2012 One World Concert for His Holiness the Dalai Lama. LoGalbo-Klepadlo has more than 18
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Carpenter & Damsky Advertising in Utica has named CARRIE LoGALBO-KLEPADLO as its director of creative services. As founder and president of CALdesign, she has provided graphic design and coordinated special projects and events for a variety of clients, including the 2012 One World Concert for His Holiness the Dalai Lama. LoGalbo-Klepadlo has more than 18 years industry experience, during which she has produced materials for Treehouse Pictures of Los Angeles and the Oneida Indian Nation, where she worked for 16 years. More recently, LoGalbo-Klepadlo was employed by the Central Association for the Blind and Visually Impaired, or CABVI.
JOANNE BARRY, assistant VP for human resources, has retired from SUNY Cortland, after more than a quarter century of service. She earned SUNY’s Lifetime Achievement in Human Resources Award in 2014 for her career contributions on campus and throughout the state system. Barry joined the SUNY Cortland staff in 1990 as a personnel associate and
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JOANNE BARRY, assistant VP for human resources, has retired from SUNY Cortland, after more than a quarter century of service. She earned SUNY’s Lifetime Achievement in Human Resources Award in 2014 for her career contributions on campus and throughout the state system. Barry joined the SUNY Cortland staff in 1990 as a personnel associate and was promoted to senior personnel associate / affirmative action officer in 1997. She assumed leadership of the Human Resources Office in 2000, when she was appointed director of personnel. In 2007, Barry was elevated to assistant VP for human resources.
POMCO has promoted VINCE DINGMAN, IV to supervisor, network recruitment. Prior to his promotion, he spent four years as a facility network contractor at POMCO. Dingman has a bachelor’s degree in finance from Le Moyne College, and a master’s degree of health administration from Utica College. CARLA JODWAY has been promoted to supervisor of provider
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POMCO has promoted VINCE DINGMAN, IV to supervisor, network recruitment. Prior to his promotion, he spent four years as a facility network contractor at POMCO. Dingman has a bachelor’s degree in finance from Le Moyne College, and a master’s degree of health administration from Utica College. CARLA JODWAY has been promoted to supervisor of provider services. She joined POMCO in November 1997 and previously was the senior provider services representative
MICHAEL FERLENDA has joined the Syracuse branch of AXA Advisors, LLC. He holds a bachelor’s degree in finance, economics minor from SUNY Oswego. In addition, he has earned his Series 7 and 63 FINRA securities registrations in New York, and his New York State life, accident, and health designation. MICHAEL WEBSTERhas also joined the Syracuse
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MICHAEL FERLENDA has joined the Syracuse branch of AXA Advisors, LLC. He holds a bachelor’s degree in finance, economics minor from SUNY Oswego. In addition, he has earned his Series 7 and 63 FINRA securities registrations in New York, and his New York State life, accident, and health designation. MICHAEL WEBSTERhas also joined the Syracuse branch of AXA Advisors as a financial professional. He holds a bachelor’s degree in business management from Le Moyne College and has also earned his Series 7 and 63 FINRA Securities registrations in New York, and his New York State life, accident, and health designation.
MICHAEL E. SVENDSEN is the new nursing home administrator at Menorah Park of Central New York. Previously, he was administrator of the Bethany Gardens Skilled Living Center in Rome. He has almost 30 years experience in senior care administration. Svendsen earned an MBA after completing an executive program in in health care administration at the
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MICHAEL E. SVENDSEN is the new nursing home administrator at Menorah Park of Central New York. Previously, he was administrator of the Bethany Gardens Skilled Living Center in Rome. He has almost 30 years experience in senior care administration. Svendsen earned an MBA after completing an executive program in in health care administration at the University of Dallas.
ADAORA UDEKWU, M.D., has joined Oswego Hospital’s active medical staff and the hospitalist team. Udekwu recently completed her family medicine residency at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences. She earned her medical degree from the University of Sint Eustatius School of Medicine in the Dutch Caribbean. Udekwu began her health-care career as a registered
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ADAORA UDEKWU, M.D., has joined Oswego Hospital’s active medical staff and the hospitalist team. Udekwu recently completed her family medicine residency at the University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences. She earned her medical degree from the University of Sint Eustatius School of Medicine in the Dutch Caribbean. Udekwu began her health-care career as a registered nurse, according to the release. Before earning her medical degree, she obtained her bachelor’s degree in nursing from Salisbury University in Maryland and worked as a nurse while she completed her medical training.
Rome Memorial Hospital has hired OLUBUKOLA T. ADEYEYE M.D. as a new member of its medical staff. Adeyeye is a board-certified pediatrician at Rome Medical Group. A native of Nigeria, she earned bachelor’s degrees in medicine and surgery from Obafemi Awolowo University College of Health Sciences, Ile-Ife, Nigeria, before making her way to the United
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Rome Memorial Hospital has hired OLUBUKOLA T. ADEYEYE M.D. as a new member of its medical staff. Adeyeye is a board-certified pediatrician at Rome Medical Group. A native of Nigeria, she earned bachelor’s degrees in medicine and surgery from Obafemi Awolowo University College of Health Sciences, Ile-Ife, Nigeria, before making her way to the United States in 2009. She earned her master’s degree in public health from Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia University in New York City, with a focus on population, child, and adolescent health. Adeyeye completed her residency in pediatrics at the Woodhull Medical and Mental Health Center in Brooklyn, where she provided inpatient, outpatient, and emergency care to pediatric patients.
Bousquet Holstein PLLC announced that MELISSA A. BARAHONA has joined the firm as an associate attorney in the firm’s Litigation Practice Group. Prior to joining Bousquet Holstein, she was an associate attorney at Kasowitz, Benson, Torres & Freidman, LLP in New York City. Barahona is a graduate of the University of Michigan Law School. She
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Bousquet Holstein PLLC announced that MELISSA A. BARAHONA has joined the firm as an associate attorney in the firm’s Litigation Practice Group. Prior to joining Bousquet Holstein, she was an associate attorney at Kasowitz, Benson, Torres & Freidman, LLP in New York City. Barahona is a graduate of the University of Michigan Law School. She is also a graduate of Cornell University with a bachelor’s degree in industrial and labor relations.
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