Dear Governor Cuomo:

As you know, we seem to have a little corruption among the politicians of our wonderful state. In the interests of New York, may I humbly offer a few suggestions? They are on the same theme of making lemonade out of lemons. Or cat food from stinking fish. Or soil enrichment out of manure from Albany. You get the idea.

We have corruption in Albany. You know that. Even the janitors are on the take. The State Assembly has its own wing at Rikers Island.

You are a practical guy. How about we come up with ways to use our corruption to promote the state. I’m serious.

What do states promote? Their assets. The things they do well and have a lot of. Their resources.

Well, what do we do really well and have lots of? Duh. Hint: It’s not manufacturing. Not any more — thanks to our high taxes and crazy regulations.

What we do well is corruption, governor. So let’s be proud of this. Let’s use corruption to promote this state. Let us turn turnips into bubbly.

How about a Corruption Hall of Fame, for starters. We could televise the inductions every year — just like pro sports. What Cooperstown does with pinstripes, we can do with prison stripes. What the NFL does with the draft, we could do with indictments. “And here to accept this great honor, on weekend leave from federal penitentiary … put your hands and handcuffs together for Shelly Silver!”

We could have big conferences at the Hall of Fame. Invite politicians from all over the country. Feature headliners, like whichever comptroller is out of prison. We could stage workshops on influence peddling. We could have the Boss Tweed Wing. The Dean Skelos Room — with real bars on the window.

We could sell books on how to fiddle with pension systems.

We could market money-laundering ideas — as endorsed by various of our politicians.

Slush funds. We could hold an entire annual convention on the latest advances in slush-fund thinking and strategy.

And charities. We could tap into the wisdom of our political leaders in and out of the clink. They could endorse pre-packaged fake charities that we could sell to aspiring crooks across the fruited plain.

“Running for office? You need a New York charitable foundation where your supporters can deposit bribes. Our fake charity packages are designed and endorsed by luminaries like the Big Apple’s Mayor de Blasio.”

Governor Cuomo, this is a golden opportunity. Just think, soon we might be able to boast that one of our graduates became president. Hillary Clinton is the queen of corruption. She created the biggest influence-peddling slush fund in the country. And gosh, she used to be our very own senator. Is this a great state or what?

Our state universities could offer degree programs in corruption: how to practice it, how to detect it, and how to ignore it. You could create courses in that subject, Governor Cuomo.

I can see new state advertising messages: “New York Is On Sale.” “We Milk More Than Cows Here.” “Much More Than Street Crime.” “Brooklyn’s Bridge Ain’t Fer Sale — But Its Politicians Come Cheap.”

I can see our new motto on the state flag, in Latin: Redere Ludere! (Pay to Play).

I can see golden arches constructed over the steps of the state capitol. For Sale! (And We Don’t Mean the Building.)

From Tom…as in Morgan.

Tom Morgan writes about political, financial and other subjects from his home near Oneonta. Several upstate radio stations carry his daily commentary, Tom Morgan’s Money Talk. Contact him at tomasinmorgan.com

Scandal after scandal, Albany has been unwilling and unable to police itself on matters of public corruption. It is so bad that shocking headlines involving corrupt public officials have now become commonplace. Those in power are so accustomed to wallowing in the muck and mire of political corruption that it’s as if they prefer it that way — despite constant urging from our Assembly Republican Conference.

It’s not hard for any reasonable person to see what the problem is: unchecked power and access to money have been corrupting forces in New York’s capitol. For too long these political commodities have been in the hands of nefarious people and it has wreaked havoc on New York’s government.

At the root of this problem is the concentration of power in a handful of leaders — the Assembly speaker, Senate majority leader, and the governor. Former Speaker Sheldon Silver was just sentenced to 12 years in prison and nearly $7 million in fines and payback for his crimes. Former Senate Majority Leader Dean Skelos was set to be sentenced on May 12. Former Sen. John Sampson, who served as majority leader during the brief stint of Democrat control, will be sentenced at the end of May. And now, a complex web of bid-rigging, all tied to the governor’s aides and political allies, is being investigated by federal prosecutors and the state attorney general.

Access to public dollars and campaign contributions also plays a significant role in recent cases. Nepotism, the use of private-sector firms and nonprofits to funnel money to elected officials, pay-to-play, bid rigging, and even ill-gotten financial gains have plagued Albany.

If this isn’t a big wakeup call for the Assembly Democrats, I don’t know what will be. Maybe they will be persuaded by the public, because the public has had enough.

Nearly every New Yorker thinks corruption is a serious problem. A recent Siena Poll confirms this, indicating that 97 percent of New Yorkers are demanding ethics reforms.

Assembly Democrats have failed over and over again to pass any meaningful ethics reforms. When Speaker Carl Heastie took his position after Silver’s arrest, he promised reforms, but more than a year later, he and his colleagues have failed to deliver. In fact, they have actively blocked ethics legislation that my Republican colleagues and I sponsor.

The Assembly Republican Conference’s Public Officers Accountability Act, which was blocked by Democrats, would have set term limits for legislative leaders and committee chairs and increased punishments for corruption crimes and violations of campaign-finance laws. Also blocked was public-pension forfeiture legislation, which would strip corrupt public officials of their publically funded pensions. No felon should be able to collect even one dime from his victims — the taxpayers.

My colleagues and I continue to discuss and develop ethics reforms, including lowering the maximum campaign contribution allowed from state, county, or local political committees; stopping bid rigging in state contracting by prohibiting awardees from making political contributions for one year; and ending special interest Super PAC spending, which holds excessive sway in the political process. 

The New York Assembly must make ethics reforms its main priority for the remainder of session. It would be foolhardy to continue to put off these much-needed changes. The public is demanding action, and it is our job to respond and protect their interests.

Marc W. Butler (R,C,I–Newport) is a New York State Assemblyman for the 118th District, which encompasses parts of Oneida, Herkimer, and St. Lawrence counties, as well as all of Hamilton and Fulton counties. Contact him at butlerm@assembly.state.ny.us