Companies that train their employees in what are commonly referred to as “soft skills” are finding those efforts pay off in productivity and retention. 

People with soft skills are adept in areas such as interpersonal communication, leadership, problem-solving, and adaptability. But often still missing in the soft-skills department, some corporate analysts say, is the willingness to show an even softer side — specifically, saying “thank you” and “I’m sorry.”

Simple as they sound, those phrases — which most of us were taught by our parents as good manners — are often difficult for many people in the corporate culture to say. 

But there is great value and power in saying “I’m sorry” and “thank you” in the corporate world. The first time someone apologizes or expresses gratitude, the whole environment shifts. 

I’ve observed corporate cultures become healthier when workers and leaders learn more about each other, care about each other, and communicate better. As a result, they work better together. 

So many people in today’s corporate culture have lived through not being valued in the workplace. As we moved from the industrial age to technology, the thing that got left behind was the human element. People are starving for the human touch. 

Here are three reasons why saying “thank you” and “I’m sorry” carry power in the corporate culture.

Rebuilds relationships 

Leaders who can put themselves in the shoes of an employee whom they berated can build strong bridges throughout the company by apologizing and showing a more respectful approach next time. People feel more valued and no longer threatened. Every word you speak is an act of leadership as you influence others. A thank you to a deserving employee also forges a more trusting, respectful relationship. Being specific and genuine with the thank you heightens a person’s self-image, their view of the workplace, their boss and co-worker, and motivates them to keep up the good work. 

It shows character 

Humility shown in saying “I’m sorry” is essential to leadership, as well as to the rank-and-file, because it authenticates a person’s humanity. Saying “thank you” reflects an appreciation for others that is essential in building a successful team. Competence is no substitute for character. When people see a co-worker or boss doesn’t thoughtlessly put themselves above them, bonds and productivity grow. Character is a key element that attracts people and builds the foundation of a business.

It energizes everyone 

It’s easy to get wrapped up in daily business obstacles or an overloaded email box and skip saying “sorry” or “thank you.” But when these new habits are formed, showing that everyone values everyone else, a spirit of cooperation flows like a river throughout the company, creating a consistently positive culture.

The relationship qualities, founded on mutual respect, that were common 100 years ago are still essential today, and without them, organizations fail. Walls go up, people get alienated, and can’t work together anymore.        

Keith Martino (www.KeithMartino.com) is head of CMI, a global consultancy founded in 1999 that customizes leadership and sales-development initiatives. Martino is the author of “Expect Leadership,” a series of four leadership books — The Executive Edition, in Business, in Engineering, and in Technology. 

Here’s a quick question. Where did you have your most impactful learning experience? 

A. In a class or a course
B. In a meeting
C. At a conference or in a workshop
D. In your work, completing a project or task

Did you answer D? I’ve asked this same question numerous times to organizational managers, leaders, and at presentations that I’ve given, and the responses are always the same. The vast majority (around 80 percent) agree that their greatest learning experience happened while doing actual work — solving a problem, completing a task, and/or collaborating with others. Interesting too is that this high response rate reinforces some research initially done at the Center for Creative Leadership in the 1990s. It was here that the 70-20-10 principle was born. If you’re not familiar with this principle, these numbers loosely represent the percentages of how people learn in an organization.

– Most learning (the 70 percent) happens in the work being done, through experiences

– Some learning (the 20 percent) happens through our social interactions — collaborating, sharing, and story-telling

– Far less learning (the 10 percent) happens through training, courses, and classes

Of course, the exact percentages are not important and can vary depending on your context (for example: a new employee, or novice, may learn more in a formal on-boarding program). However, as people grow in experience and knowledge, they need less training and more opportunities to connect and reflect. Are we doing enough of this — or are we trapped in the 20th century’s training-first paradigm?

If you’re a small to mid-sized business, it’s time to look forward, not back. The learning and performance landscape of the 21st century is very different than the landscape of the 20th century that created the likes of IBM, HP, Blockbuster Video, and Kodak. 

Change happens quickly, so both employers and employees need to consider supporting faster ways of learning. For employers, a workforce that can continually learn, improve, connect, and collaborate is more responsive to change. Similarly, workers who have a strong network and can find what they need right when they need it gain skills faster than through a traditional academic course model. (Source: https://www.innosight.com/insight/creative-destruction/)

Today’s organizations need to better support all the learning that’s happening. If it’s not apparent, here are more reasons why creating a framework to encourage and enable 70:20:10 is necessary.

It’s the answer to complexity
The world of work, markets, and technology are changing constantly. Adopting permanent approaches, structures, and tools makes no sense as the lifespan is short and technology is expensive. Best principles, not practices, are needed today, and agility and speed win. The 70:20:10 approach reduces friction on the workflow by allowing learning and work to be more closely tied.

It’s simple
Adopting 70:20:10 requires no new software, training, or infrastructural changes. It’s a mindset shift from compliance, completion, attendance, and direction to support, enablement, guidance, and modeling. We need to let go of industrial-era approaches to performance improvement which often create unnecessary layers of work upon the actual work. The 70:20:10 mindset is about paving the cow path not creating new roads.

It’s about doing, not learning
If you go by the numbers, about 90 percent of 70:20:10 is in and around doing actual work. The 70:20:10 plan is about work getting done better, faster, and more efficiently by making work more visible and encouraging people to connect and collaborate. It’s about reflecting on the work being done to bring forth new ideas and being conscious of the insights gained through doing the work.

It’s about autonomy
In a world of ever-change, a 70:20:10 framework doesn’t dismiss the importance of hiring right but it adds the understanding that new hires need less hand-holding. As adults, if offered freedom to explore, connect, question, and contribute, they will. The 70:20:10 approach isn’t anti-training, rather it ensures that training — with all its baggage around control and futile efforts at measurement of learning — is not the default response to performance-improvement efforts.

A few things you should ponder about the 70:20:10 framework include the following. 

• About 90 percent of learning budgets are allocated to 10 percent of where real learning happens.
• People are more apt to reach out to a colleague or “Google it” before they access content in a learning-management system. 
• Learning happens constantly and continuously, but in most organizations it’s unsupported and left to chance.

What should businesses be considering then?
First, culture. Most small to mid-sized organizations inherently have a more cooperative and collaborative culture. Look around. Are your employees continuously seeking innovative approaches and new ideas to inform their practices? Do they openly reach out for assistance and are willing to share insights? Do they have easy access to various content sources inside and outside the organization such as Intranet and Internet? If you don’t trust the people you hired to make good decisions for themselves and the organization, why did you hire them?

Second, management. If you have a management layer, are your people focused on deadlines and deliverables and reporting out as well as communicating down? This is traditional thinking. Not that it’s not important to meet work demands and communication, but if the organization is to be more open, managers need to become coaches and mentors and focus more on reducing barriers to getting work done.

Finally, technology. Most work today involves technology to complete critical tasks; this can include project-management tools to file structures and data aggregation. All serve to help get today’s work done. 

However, what about preparing for tomorrow’s work? What’s on the horizon is no longer decades away. Collaborative technology or enterprise social networks are superior to email to ensure ongoing conversations, sharing, and community building across the organization. Social tools help not only improve communication, but also increase the opportunity for collaboration through diverse opinions where innovative ideas are often born. 

Your company’s newest solution or service resides not in a single individual but between people, in their conversations. Social technology may be the single greatest tool to help your company to remain a positive, productive culture.

Today, the need for organizations to remain responsive is critical. Circumstances can change quickly from new technology adoption to market shifts. Disruption is more the norm than the exception, and the ability of your employees to be aware and respond is now necessary. Training was the ideal primary solution when conditions were more stable and it still has its place when done well and for the right reasons such as when learning something for the first time. However, training ultimately helps to solve the problems we know. Collaboration, cooperation, and experimentation help to solve the problems yet to come.                       

Mark Britz is a workforce-performance strategist who has launched ThruWork (ThruWork.com), a talent-development consultancy for small to mid-sized businesses. The company specializes in solving organizational performance problems and focuses on non-training approaches to scale employee performance. He has a bachelor’s degree from SUNY Oswego and a master’s degree from Syracuse University. Contact Britz at (315) 552-0538 or email: mark@thruwork.com

Inappropriate behavior toward women in the workplace has sparked a national conversation about sexual harassment. The #MeToo movement exploded on social media, celebrities were embroiled in allegations of sexual misconduct, employers were sued, and employees dismissed. 

While this tidal wave of public attention has generated some positive change, business leaders and work-culture observers wonder how the fallout will affect male-female working relationships down the road, including within the mentoring dynamic.

As a business owner and attorney, I think it’s time to turn the conversation positive and view how male-female mentoring has successfully impacted careers and companies. This time of raised awareness provides the chance to improve mentoring and make it even more meaningful.

I would like to encourage my business-owner peers to change the tone of this conversation and focus on the many successful male-female work relationships we have each seen, fostered, and benefited from forging. A workplace is super-charged by having a mix of well-mentored men and women. 

At a time when men might be pulling away from mentoring to avoid any hint of impropriety with a female colleague, we need more men to mentor women because they’ll be helping to positively change the workplace.

Here are four tips for male business leaders when mentoring women:

Focus on professional progress 
Rules for mentoring should be the same for a woman mentoring a man or a man mentoring a woman. What’s the mentor or mentee’s motivation for entering into this mentoring relationship? You focus on skills, talents, goals, and competencies. Feedback is constructive. You keep it real by not veering off the track of professional growth.

Think of mutual growth 
Well-planned and executed mentoring is a win-win for both the mentee and mentor. Both individuals can grow substantially from the relationship. Focus on developing the women and men on your teams through impactful mentoring that elevates both the mentor and the mentee. As a male business owner, I owe a tremendous amount of my own success to the incredible mentorship of my female colleagues. Male business owners need to seek out their female mentors as they add a different dimension to how we plan, execute, and build our business.

Ask, if you’re unsure 
Colleagues can help you understand what is considered inappropriate behavior and what is acceptable. Something that was a compliment years ago might be considered an inappropriate comment today.

Practice common courtesy, respect
Treat a female colleague as you would any other colleague. Men should take the extra step of educating themselves on the definition of sexual harassment and what it means to women in a professional setting. Be a good listener and exhibit common courtesy, as you would show any person.

Male business leaders have a great opportunity here to be great role models, impactful mentors, and help women continue to diversify the talent of their companies. 

Peter J. Strauss (www.peterjstrauss.com) is an attorney, captive insurance manager, and author of several books, including most recently “The Business Owner’s Definitive Guide to Captive Insurance Companies.” 

Lots of money, effort, and time go into acquiring customers, but not nearly enough thought goes into keeping them coming back. Sure, there’s the occasional offer or the “We’ve missed you” discount. All too frequently, we don’t pay attention unless they’re unhappy or turn up missing. Then, we get busy to try to get them back.

Such business behavior has unintended consequences. The cable companies are an example. Customers have learned to complain and threaten to leave unless they are given concessions. And how do you feel when a company unleashes the sweet talk after they haven’t heard from you? This is when you say, “Why didn’t you take care of me before I left?”

Sure, there are so-called loyalty programs. But their track record is spotty. At the moment, Macy’s appears to be having some success. But today’s customers are always alert for the next “best deal.” And it’s not just retail, it’s everywhere.

Whatever the business, the barriers to making a change are crumbling, as a recent Capital One TV ad depicts so graphically. No matter where they are, it only takes five minutes to change, viewers are told.

Customers get it. Nothing holds them back. “I really like doing business with you, but I’m making a change,” they say. Many businesses pass it off as just the way it is today; few have a clue what to do about it.

So, let’s get specific as to why customers leave. Here are four main reasons. 

1. Some are easily bored
They constantly prowl the Internet for what’s new and different, which one survey pegs as between one and three hours a day just at work.

2. Others lose interest almost instantly
Studies indicate attention spans are getting shorter — and shorter. You may recall a Canadian media consumption survey by Microsoft that found the average attention span was 8 seconds in 2015, down from 12 seconds in 2000.

3. Many don’t get the help they expect, particularly with decision-making 
A patient in a medication ad wonders if what he’s taking is the best for him. He wants the best so he talks to his doctor and makes a change. We’re confused after poring over online reviews and items with Amazon, and “Best Seller” grabs our attention.

4. They feel they’re being taken for granted 
They place orders, pay on time, and don’t complain. Sounds like the perfect customer. And then they’re gone. Why? They feel neglected — and chances are they’re right.

Is there a common thread running through the list? If anything, it shows how fragile customer relationships are today. It doesn’t take much to harm them, but it does take effort to strengthen them. Here are seven ways to do it.

1. Communicate value 
Of course, customers chase the lowest price for auto insurance. They view it the same way they buy milk or bread and a lot of other stuff. Keep the attention directed on why what you sell makes a difference in your customers’ lives. 

2. Focus on the front line 
Person-to-person contact is the weakest point in most businesses. It ranges from lack of attention and inaccurate information to surliness, being ignored, and lied to. Like it or not, this is the company. It’s the place of truth, no matter what the CEO says.

3. Act on feedback 
Whether a business wants feedback or not, they get it today, often from many directions. Encouraging feedback should be a company’s primary message, not tacked on somewhere: “We want to be better. We depend on you to show us how.” Then let customers know how they helped. 

4. Make messaging personal 
Customers must feel that the business experience is about them. Too much is either too general, inappropriate, or what you want customers to buy. Forget it. It doesn’t work and that means it wastes time and money. To do it right takes data.

5. Customize loyalty rewards 
Everyone isn’t moved by a singular incentive. Give them options so the decision is theirs. Sure, it’s more complicated, but a key to loyalty is recognizing customers as partners.

6. Listen to their story
Share complaints and what you’ve done about them; show how complaints make a better company. Customers want to talk about their situation

7. Do something special 
Surprise them. Let them know you noticed them. A few days after having brunch at a restaurant, the manager emailed a guest. He said they were pleased to prepare the meal to meet dietary restrictions.

Now, here is the point. Just as a thread runs through the reasons why customers leave, there’s also a thread that helps explain why they stay: They feel appreciated, understood, and wanted — not just when they come aboard, but consistently over time.

Is a retention effort worth it? “The companies that have a difficult time,” says Wharton researcher Dan McCarthy, “are the ones that don’t do a good job of retaining the customers. They are never able to dial back on customer acquisition, which makes it very hard for them to get out of that loss-making situation.”

In summary, we can say that just as customer acquisition is habit-forming, so is customer retention.                                  

John Graham of GrahamComm is a marketing and sales strategist-consultant and business writer. He is the creator of “Magnet Marketing,” and publishes a free monthly eBulletin, “No Nonsense Marketing & Sales Ideas.” Contact him at jgraham@grahamcomm.com, (617) 774-9759, or johnrgraham.com